chronological posts

i heard someone cough. i turned around.

there were no people in sight. i listened. all i heard was traffic and wind. 50-50 it could have been my imagination. i walked faster with the bulky stuff in my hands.

the sun was setting on one of the darkest corners of the neighborhood. a huge patch of shade blocked the road.

in the parking alleys behind the plaza building, i found a milk crate. as soon as i got to the end of the alley, i could organize everything. a bunch of crushed electronic crap was weighing down my bucket and i could probably dump most of it back there if no one was around.

i also had a library book. i didn’t intend to steal the book, i only wanted to bring it with me for a few hours. the title was cure yourself with wine! it was about what kind of wine to drink for different illnesses. it had a lot of colorful pictures of fancy meals paired with the wine. between that and the disorganized bucket of herbs, i was hoping to have a look at everything, chuck what i didn’t need, put the good stuff in the milk crate, and return the library book, which i’d taken without checking out, since i didn have a library membership.

at the end of the alley i saw a smashed windshield propped against a wall. little blue-green crumbles of windshield glass covered the area of the ground.

i wanted to stand in the sun but set my things in the most hidden corner of the concrete courtyard instead. i knew i should be in the spot where they’d last see me if i was followed.

there was already a small pile of crushed electronics by the wall, even a large TV set, the screen not broken yet but the VHS slot with a large crater in the front.

i stood there and looked at the stuff for a moment. this was when i heard another cough and a shuffle like somebody’s sneaker brushing on the concrete several bends back. this was when i knew who it had to be. and that he wanted me to hear him coming. he was making a little noise on purpose.

i looked at my stuff. i was really disappointed. i wanted to go through the herbs and i really wanted a chance to look at that wine book.

i looked at the crushed glass on the ground. i reached out and took a handful of the glass. it seems stupid now, but i didn’t have any other weapons on me. a gun would’ve been useless back there anyway.

i listened. it was silent now. but the stress from waiting made it impossible to take my estimated remaining 90 seconds to sort everything. i thought i could throw some things in the milk crate and try to run? on the other hand, the alley was a dead end. i’d have to get out somehow, and this wasn’t a sure thing, never mind the stuff.

before i could think another thought, before i could even figure out if i might as well just come out into the open instead of trying to hide behind the very last corner, or even started to imagine what i might could actually do with the crushed glass in my hand (throw it at him?) i already saw his teeth, his smiling mouth, from under his hood.

somehow, he was already right next to me. he leaned close against the corner of the wall, smiling wide, with huge white teeth, completely silent, like an owl.

my interface was glitching out. i struggled to make it work with the remaining buttons. my phone beeped. i looked at my phone.

“heyy its how are you doing ? wwant to hang out later ? ?”

“sure thing!” i punched in immediately .

one more time i had to fake remember guess who was texting me.

i made a mental note to try to remember who they were. the list of people is too long. i can never remember half of them but i felt guilty enough of being out of touch that i knew i must say yes off the bat. no doubt i was behind in some important area with somebody.

i covered my face with my hands. my hands were kind of clammy and moist. i got up from the computer and went to the front door. i felt jittery.

i looked out the door into the night. an enormous pig was heaving itself up over the curb onto the neutral ground. it was covered in bulbous tumors. it was grunting loudly.

“well,” i said to myself, “the cars seem to be avoiding her all right. they’re slowing down etc. okay, i’d say this isn’t really my problem.” i shut the door.

my phone beeped again. the screen had reconstituted itself.

“how about this afternoon? “

“who is this, by the way ?” i got the courage to ask.

she gave her name, heart heart, smile smile.

i frowned.

“the one from hong kong ?” i asked her.

“no.”

“the one from sweden ?”

“no.”

i turned my head. behind me, the living room had filled with my extended relations. the pig was there, on the coffee table. she was squealing an indescribable noise. my relatives were helping her deliver the piglets, perhaps surgically. i’m sure only now that there was a knife involved.

i frowned deeper. why must they do this right in my living room? my uncle looked at me and picked up one of the wet piglets. he chucked it at me like a softball. i caught it, irritated. the thing scurried over my clothes like a weasel and rooted right into my shoulder. it got a mouthful of my flesh and started sucking on me, as all mammal newborn baby mouths do.

i looked back at my phone. “is your last name just what i think it is?”

” :) :) how have u been h ?”

i looked up at the pig situation — just in time; my uncles threw more and more piglets at me. i reflexively caught them all, since my reflexes are so good, but they quickly covered my body, each of them latching a mouth on some spare patch of skin.

i frowned deeper than ever and with difficulty lifted my thumb to text back.

“go fuck you r s elf girl” i managed to type.

“that’s not very nice!” i could almost hear her voice reply to me. i opened my hand and dropped my phone.